The Goal Isn’t to Be the Perfect Mother—It’s to Be the Perfect You

We’ve been sold the idea that motherhood means striving to be the perfect mother—always putting your kids first, sacrificing your needs, and measuring your worth by how seamlessly you keep everything together.

But what if the real goal of motherhood isn’t perfection at all? What if it’s about becoming the truest, fullest, most aligned version of yourself?

Motherhood isn’t a costume we put on. It’s an extension of who we are as women. And when we prioritize our authenticity—our sovereignty, our autonomy, and our wholeness—we don’t just serve ourselves. We model for our children what it looks like to be real, to be free, and to live fully.

Trying to be the perfect mother can turn you into someone who performs well but feels empty inside. You might look good on the outside, but inside, you’re disconnected from your own needs and desires. That’s not sustainable—and honestly, it’s not healthy for you or your kids.

But when you aim to be the perfect version of yourself, everything shifts. You show up in life in ways that are aligned, joyful, and true. Your cup is full, and as you overflow, your children (and everyone around you) get the best of you—not the scraps.

This is where the distinction between selfishness and self-centeredness matters:

• Self-centeredness is being consumed with your own needs and ignoring others completely. It’s a closed loop, where everything revolves around you to the detriment of those around you.
• Selfishness, in its healthy form, is tending to your own well-being and desires so that you can be a whole person in relationship with others. It’s recognizing that you are part of the equation too—and that your happiness, your health, and your joy matter.

When you live from this space of healthy selfishness, your children get to witness what true womanhood looks like. They see what it means to be sovereign: to honor yourself, to make choices from a place of autonomy, and to weave your needs into the fabric of family life rather than disappearing inside of it.

This is sovereignty.

This is authentic motherhood.

And this is the legacy I believe we’re meant to pass on.

If this resonates with you and you’re ready to explore sovereign, authentic motherhood on a deeper level, make sure to subscribe. I’m sharing reflections, tools, and conversations to help you step fully into your power—on your terms.

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